Stirring the Crackpot

3 Ways to Cut Costs When You're Unemployed

It's that time of year again - time for company "downsizing." With our economy on the verge of a recession, it's no surprise that I've already heard multiple reports of layoffs - including a close friend of mine. Other friends who are still gainfully employed fear they could be next.

I'm no stranger to layoffs, unfortunately, so I thought I'd share some tips on how I've managed to cut costs during periods of unemployment.

1. Take a Shopping Sabbatical

I completely cut myself off from purchasing clothes while out of work - well except for 2 tops that totaled $20. (So I cheated a little.) Have you ever calculated how much you spend on clothes each month? This tip can help you afford an extra month or two of housing expenses.

Just think about how much you have spent in the past 3 months on clothes, bags, shoes, jewelry, etc., and then determine how many months of rent/mortgage that would afford you. Makes it a little easier to control your shopping urges, right?

2. Make Your Mane Low Maintenance

Depending on what city you live in, women can easily pay up to $50 or $60 for a haircut, and double that for highlights or color, not counting the tip. If you get your haircut and color retouched every 6 weeks, that's $400 you're spending over 3 months that you could be putting towards food or other necessary expenses!

At the beginning of my unemployment period, I went to a less expensive salon recommended by a friend. At the time, my hair was really short, so I specifically asked the stylist that she give me a haircut that would grow out well so I could wait as long as possible before getting it cut again. At the time, I had been dying to color my hair again as my last color had completely faded, but knowing it was unnecessary, I refrained.

If you have a high-maintenance hair color, consider dying it closer to your natural shade until you're employed again so you don't have to spend wads of cash on color corrections or root touch-ups.

If you're really brave (or stupid) like me, you can also go to places like Craigslist to find salons seeking "hair models" - people willing to get their hair cut for free by stylists-in-training. I, personally, made the mistake of signing up for a "creative cut" - which in layman's I now describe as a hairstyle that is so progressive you will most likely only see it on a salon poster, in a European runway show or sported by a celebrity rockstar (most likely of the opposite sex). For months I've been walking around looking like Davey Havok of the band, AFI. Except for when my head was turned to the right - then I just looked like Sinead O'Connor.

3. Find Cheap Entertainment

To some, the obvious place to cut expenses during unemployment might be entertainment - but I disagree with that. If you don't maintain a healthy list of social activities when you're unemployed - especially if you're single - you could quickly fall into a slump or depression.

I think it's important to still go out with your friends; just be smart about it. If you can't pick the place, order the cheapest meals on the menu or the drinks on special. This could result in a savings of $100+ per month!

If you ever have to think twice about meeting up with your friends because you're low on cash, just go and stick to water, because you never know who you'll meet in public - it could be a hiring manager that helps you land your next gig!

My Love-Hate Relationship with Fashion During the Chicago Winter

During my recent 3 months of unemployment, I embarked on a clothes-buying sabbatical. We're talking shoes, bags, jewelry, belts, etc. - the whole shebang. Why? Simply put, I needed to save money and cut costs wherever possible.

It was a tough 3 months of not buying clothes because the silhouettes and shoes that are popular this winter a far different from that of last year's trends. Creating a somewhat updated outfit was even more of a challenge for me because, having lived only 1 winter north of the Mason-Dixon line, my wardrobe is still hardly suited for brutal winter weather.

Needless to say I was excited to finally secure a new job before the holidays, because that meant - shopping time!

Over the course of the past few weeks I have been working on creating a new business casual wardrobe. It sounds fun, right? - having a valid excuse to drop tons of money on clothes and accessories during the biggest sales events of the season. I thought it would be too; however, it's been nothing but stressful.

My three-month sabbatical made me forget how hard it is to find unique and affordable pieces that fit well on my not-so-averaged-shaped body. And trying to find shoes with heels that won't get stuck in between the wood planks on the train platforms (yes, this has actually happened to me before; my foot walks forward to step on the train when I realize my foot is bare all of a sudden and my shoe is stuck on the platform behind me) or fall into the grates in the sidewalk downtown (been there, done that; quite embarrassing, but more so, annoying), yet that are still business casual-appropriate and will allow you to trek safely through snow and across ice-slicked paths to client meetings, was quite the challenge.

Yes, I can wear my Ugg-like fur boots to and from work, but when I am walking from my office to meet a client downtown in the biting cold and snow, when I wouldn't dare wear my peep-toe heels, what is a girl to do? Waltz into the client's office in fur boots and attempt to inconspicuously attempt to change into your peep-toe heels? And then if you're successful, do you shove your wet snow boots into a large purse, thereby dirtying your appointment calendar and meeting notebook? Okay, maybe you can contain the wet boots within your purse in a plastic grocery bag; but then the question becomes: is it possible to carry a purse smaller than the size of a large child? And how ghetto do I look if someone sees me slipping fur boots into a plastic grocery bag?

These are serious questions, people, and I'm not sure I know the answers.

Cobalt

Yesterday I was able to catch up with a former coworker who was in town on business. She was fortunate enough to land an amazing job at a large ad agency in Boston when she left San Antonio 2 years ago.

While talking shop, she mentioned another agency, called Cobalt - which made me think: wouldn't that make a great celebrity baby name? Cobalt. It just sounds like something a celeb would name their kid.

With that, I give you a list of my favorite outrageous celebrity baby names.

Tonya Linette Lewis & Spike Lee: Baby daughter Satchel
Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin: Baby daughter Apple
Shannyn Sossaman & Dallas Clayton: Baby son Audio Science
Geri Halliwell & Sacha Gervasi: Baby daughter Bluebell Madonna
Paula Yates & Bob Geldof: Baby daughters Fifi-Trixibelle, Peaches, Little Trixie, and Honeyblossom

Really - what were these people thinking? They are really limiting their kids' potential. Maybe it's just me, but I worry that Fifi-Trixibelle will never even be allowed in a board room.

Maybe Britney Spears isn't the only celeb who should be committed?...

The Mutual Exclusivity of Geeks and Athletes

Think back to your days in middle school and high school when everyone fell into the category of geek, jock, popular, goth, etc.. What stereotype were you?

Back in the day, I would say I was a band geek who, no pun intended, marched to the beat of her own drummer. I was out there, quirky, and I did my own thing. When it came to looks, I was a tall, bony, skinny bean pole with no shape and a less-than-ideal posture. I felt like I looked awkward and moved with the grace of a spastic monkey.

Today, I am still proudly out there, quirky and marching to beat of my own drummer. But for the first time in my life, I am happy to say I have rid myself of the skinny bean pole figure and the poor posture.

What did it take? Two simple things: 1) exercise (yoga) and 2) massage therapy (a rather painful, but amazingly effective, body realignment technique called Rolfing or structural integration).

Now that my body is properly aligned (I discovered my hips were out of alignment from playing flute for so many years with an incorrect posture) and now that I have muscle mass to support my movement, I don't look or feel awkward like I used to.

This observation made me realize why you will probably never see an athletic geek: these two stereotypes are mutually exclusive.

Do you remember any classmates - most likely geeks or nerds - who had poor posture? Were they at all athletic? Now try to think of a jock or an athlete with poor posture. Kind of hard, right? That's because if you work out and have muscle mass, you will not look or feel awkward. I guess those ballerinas know a thing or two.

Take heed parents: keep your kids involved in some type of physical activity - be it sports, ballet, gymnastics, karate, etc. - as an insurance policy against your kids blooming with the grace of a spastic monkey or posture of an orangataun, as I did.

"Stick Girl" rests her case.

Last Chance Kill

Sunday I returned to Chicago from Goliad, TX, where I attended my friend's birthday party at her parents' house.

You probably haven't heard of Goliad, TX because its population is 1,975. (I know this for a fact because I proudly took a picture of the sign on the sign on the highway.) Though it boasts a a quaint town square with a handful of antique shops, it's comprised mostly of sprawling ranches, aimlessly wandering cattle and scattered hunting blinds.

Having lived in the third, fourth and eighth largest cities in the US over the past four years, this trip made me realize how far removed I've been from small town America - especially when we hit one of the only two fast food establishments in town for lunch.

As we stood in line at Whataburger (my absolute favorite burger chain), I observed that nearly 70% of its patrons were sporting one or more camouflaged garments. Camo hats, camo shirts, camo socks, camo you-name-it. After pointing this out to my friend, she mentioned that it was the end of deer hunting season, alluding to the fact that it might account for the seemingly excessive amount of camo around us.

It was then I realized that the last weekend of deer hunting season is to men in South Texas what Last Chance Sales at the end of the year are to women across the country.

I can just see the ad in the paper:

"Last Chance Kill!" with a photo of a man in head-to-toe camo toting a dead buck in a department store shopping bag, but posed like the happy women in the shopping ads with a huge grin on his face, his leg kicked up ever so slightly behind him, and a gun slung over his shoulder.

Happy Hunting, Texas!

Grammar Rant: The Catch 22 of Correcting Others

This week I've been in Austin visiting a good friend and former coworker. The first thing we did when I arrived was drop by her friend's house for a quick visit. While at her friend's house, the three of us were reading an e-mail the friend had sent to her newest interest on Match.com. It was a long and witty e-mail, and it was well thought out; however, I noticed one mistake: she used an apostrophe with the possessive form of its. (Cue horror music.)

Now while I'm pretty sure that wasn't a deal-killer for the guy - heck he probably didn't even notice - I had the burning desire (as I always do) to interrupt as we were reading to point out the unnecessary apostrophe. Fortunately, I've embraced the fact that most people don't like to be corrected, so lately I try to keep my trap shut.

Yes, I'm one of those grammar freaks who constantly likes to go around correcting others' grammar and spelling. I swear it's not because I have nothing better to do or I need to boost my ego; it's because a) I have the urge to voice everything going through my head (thank you ADD) and b) I just feel it's everyone's duty to help improve each others' grammar and spelling. Otherwise, we'll all make the same mistakes again, and again, and again - myself included.

Case in point: Who didn't notice someone misspelled whisk on the Scrabble board, and who tried spelling reckless with a W this week? Both me. Thanks to corrections from my friend and handy, dandy spell check, I won't forget either any time soon.

So back to the Match.com e-mail. Ironically enough, my friend's friend noticed her mistake on "it's' and pointed it out to us as we read it. I exclaimed how excited I was that she noticed the error and admitted I had held back from pointing it out to her. Her response? She told me to correct her any time. (Cue Hallelujah chorus.)

Imagine if we all made ourselves more open, as she is, to being corrected (at appropriate times of course). I realize this idea is probably in direct opposition with Dale Carnegie's teachings in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" (i.e. you will probably not win people over by correcting them) so it might be safer to simply read "Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation" (a must-read for any grammar freak; it even comes with punctuation stickers so you can correct signs around you. (Wish I had those on me when I penned in a correction on a sign at Ikea! Oh well.)

My obsession with grammar may stem from the Spelling bee in the second grade. I was one of two people left standing, and the words they gave us at the end were only there/their/they're. But neither of us knew the appropriate use of each word, and since they kept switching up the forms of "there" and we needed two correctly spelled words in a row, it felt like an eternity until one of us finally lucked out and won. Unfortunately, it wasn't me, but from that day on, I always remembered which form of "there" to use.

I'll leave you with the wonderfully geeky grammatical joke on the back of "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" that explains the title.

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

“Why?” asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

“Well, I’m a panda,” he says at the door. “Look it up.”

The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

Share:
How do you feel about correcting others or others correcting you?

Three Lame Excuses for Not Starting a Blog and How to Get Past Them

For months I have had the desire to start a blog, but for one reason or another (or two or three), I never did.

It was in early December when I was waiting on my pool-playing buddy to arrive at Timothy O'Toole's that I struck up a conversation at the bar with fellow blogger and wealth management entrepreneur, Chris Smude.

Being an aspiring entrepreneur myself, I asked him to share with me how he made the leap. I also shared with him some of my business ideas and areas of interest which are - seriously - all over the place. It was then he provided such a simple and actionable piece of advice: start a blog.

Which brings me to my "Three Lame Excuses for Not Starting a Blog And How to Get Past Them":

1. But I don't know what my topic or focus should be?

Should I focus on topics relevant to my current job field? Should I wait until I decide what business I want to start so it can be related to that? Should it be on ADD so I can help the general public gain a better understanding of what it really is and that it's not a deficiency or disease or all about hyperactivity? Should it be on my experiences as a Gen Y?

The answer (which I already knew but had conveniently continued to ignore) is that you don't need a topic or focus. Just start writing. As time passes, the blog will start to take on a life of its own and reoccurring themes will begin to stand out. Over time you can narrow your focus and set a specific objective and topic for your blog.

2. But I don't know if I should choose a pen name? And if so, what?

I debated this heavily because I have a rather odd, long, uncommon and unmemorable last name. Well I am really no expert in this area so I googled it, and lo and behold whose blog came up but none other than Penelope Trunk, author of "The Brazen Careerist" (which I highly recommend).

Here is Penelope's advice on selecting a pen name.

3. But I don't know what to name my blog?

As a former brand manager, I should know better: you can rebrand anything, so it's not the end of the world if you don't pick the perfect name for your blog. But as usual, I let myself fall into the overanalytical trap and ended up nowhere. In fact, I spent over an hour trying to come up with a snazzy name for this one, which, as you can see, didn't quite happen.

If you're experiencing the same "trauma," don't fret over small details - especially if you're not established and especially if they can be managed with the simple click of a button. Just pick a name and run with it. You can always change it later.

Starting a blog was a pseudo-new year's resolution of mine (I don't ever really make them), so I am proud to be checking off a box on my to-do list.

Share:
How did you choose a topic for your blog?
What was your experience rebranding yourself or your blog?